I guess I'll go lie down now and see if I can sleep.

:|  Not sure what else to type..

I want some rest!

I can't get it because of how tacky my parents are acting like other people, and why do you think it's tacky that that's all I could think to say?..  Why do you keep getting back at me, it seems?  What's going on?

Old Post

I noticed I can't make certain statements about Tim Burton and that he's meaner about some people than others and really gets others to get at you.  Rather, other people do that, but it's like what he does and sometimes he does it.

Why do people think we need to live by corny rules, like here in America?

...

Suggestions

I'm getting suggestions from Helena Bonham Carter about people who are very mean to me not being mean enough.  Can we deny this "rumor?"

STOP

Stop being suggestive, and stop being so mean.

Upset

So, we were upset about a statement to my grandma because I was upset about the magnitude of being incessant at me when things are not hoity toity.

My Life!

My dad has been weird to me my whole life!  Since certain landmarks, things have really changed, and I think he likes it that way..

I texted my dad.

I'm very tired.

This is so annoying.  Every time my needs get compensated, something happens.  I'm worried about my parents on a walk.  They told me to calm down.  I can't stand the mental hospital and the police just won't listen to me.  How do they know I did something wrong or am not well?  What if I am forced to take medicine?  They can't force you, usually.  This isn't funny.  People will threaten to do the same thing to you.  I know I Was at the store a long time with my dad.  He was out a long time yesterday, too.  What does that imply?  He also said I don't talk to him anymore, don't eat with them, don't say good-night.

Bathroom

I found that I was supposed to go to the bathroom in school.. but I wasn't the only one.  D:  Oh no!  Only Asians and Scottish people do that.

*Beep*

I acted like I was gonna *beep* some people.  My dad acted like my daughter would be a tacky accident.

Uh oh, didn't Ellen DeGeneres channel these feelings?  I already saw a vision of my daughter, though.  Funny I lost my Wal-Mart card today, and someone picked it up.

I tried to get at my dad, but he just gets perverted and yells and me and tells me I did something wrong in telling him my feelings.

I'm worried I'll end up at the mental hospital.  I just opened the door, and they threatened to take me there.  I told my mom not to.  My dad said he might drive me there or conveniently "call the police."

My Dad

My dad acted like he wasn't as tacky at one time today!  He was rather a show off.  I didn't get it.  His motives.  I just didn't want him to hurt me.  I don't see his logic other than that it's about his failures.

HELP!

Make these noises in my room stop!  I'm not "hearing things."  I've explained my feelings.

STOP!

People want me to "admit" what's going on.

My dad's been acting funnily around me.  I'm not sure why.  However, when I do something, I get like a switch in how my parents act, as though they're someone else.  I don't know how to say it!  Every time something good happens to me or something different, they ruin my life.  I told them to stop, but they just keep killing me.

My dad has never like approached me and not had a distance, like it mattered.

They even threatened to call the police, and I'm really tired and they will just take me.  I can't sleep there.

They keep getting mad at me for not doing things a certain way from the start.  However, my life isn't set up like others's were, and I can't do just that.

I guess people went and decided to feel good and not get attention and to give me it and ruin my life at the same time.

Also, my parents decided to go for a walk for the first time with the dog.

I've been getting really inappropriate feelings from people like Ellen DeGeneres, my dad, Tim Burton, Helena Bonham Carter, Johnny Depp, just anyone.

I notice that I have to do anything that's cute, too.  Like, if I don't do it, people will act like I'm being mean because I'm not being submissive like other people my age.  They bark at me like Hell!  It's all because I thought someone wanted me to call them the n word.

So, my problem is if I call someone about my dad, they'll take me instead.  Also, I need the money and want to know why his relationship to me is given in ruined.

Also, people like Helena Bonham Carter have been testing me.  They've been like debunking my logic.

I think that some people have a fetish with me about YouTube.

Tweet @reneesmusings - Hurricane

I went up to Rochester when I was 15 with my aunt and little cousin girl.  I stayed up north there and by Pennsylvania for the whole month, on top of seeing my other friend where I used to live, maybe a month, as well.  So, I had a good time with myself when I went up north as a kid.  I saw the school of my 2nd cousin's kids, and it seemed so like real and confusing, in a way.  So, I went up north, and I went to a Bible camp.  I guess this is the first time people were really suggestive with me.  It was a Christian school.  Like, they were asking like when my school started, and I said it was starting soon.  They said they had a longer vacation.  I played games, and they seemed to think I was ugly.  I never went back up north, again.  I did go during the winter, and it was really cold, though I got over it, as I always have.  I guess I'm colder down here.  That's what my grandma said in Midnorthwestern Florida.

Also, my tennis teacher in the New Orleans area is from Rochester.  My aunt only lived there a year.  She's otherwise lived in Florida.  What sticks in my mind about him is that he said, "Play through any weather."

I think I looked at a school in that area, as well as near where my grandma lives.

Anyway, the snow isn't as thick up there, anymore, and it doesn't seem to snow as much, though there was snow in New Orleans twice in the past few years.

It's been rather nice here.  Last winter wasn't so cold.  I had a good winter before that.  I actually came out of my room and went to Disney World with my mom, and brother.

The weather in the New Orleans area always seemed so dangerous, bound to storm and hurricane.  I lost so much but gained so much from Katrina.  My life is a hurricane.  Literally.  I don't know why, but it doesn't make me happy, this secret.  When I was in the city for some event, as we never socialized, just once with my aunt, the wind blew so hard I couldn't breath, and it only affected me.  I don't remember any wind in New York|Pennsylvania.  }:)

You know, the people in New Orleans don't think the hurricane is important.

SHIT

It seems that, well, people who are not from the East nor a major area like New York nor Pennsylvania are overly protective of their basically err I shitty quality, but not shitty as in poo!  What shall I say?  Their errors.  The way they are mean and trashy-  Junk.  Because they're mean.  They're disgusting.  They aren't very attentive to thinking the right things.  They show off their every little pleasure..  However, people from the Northeast in turn are stuck up!  :0  They're shitty in culture, too.

Pre-Occuppied

If black people are so pre-occupied with being so good, how will they ever make it to the top?

I wanna talk like you talk like you oo oo oo

It seems like no one wants the Chinese to be like them?

The North + the South

Ellen DeGeneres gets mad at people for acting like they're from urban, modern, more normal places, such as Florida, Northeastern and Southeastern Florida.

What If

What if there was no hope in being good?

Probing

Why do people think we were bound to suffer, and others weren't?

fetish

When will Johnny Depp get over his fetish?

Guilty as charged.

Talk show hosts are inherently guilty and stupid.

Psycho

Why is Ellen DeGeneres so crazy?

Leave me alone 8^

It seems my dad won't leave me alone.

You can't hurt me! =^

My dad does not accept the fact that he cannot hurt me.

So?

I need to put this on my site.  What happened to the respect I had before things like the n word thing happened?  What happened to "chances" I had?

Get Online!

Why does Ellen DeGeneres make excuses for all the things she does that are really wrong?  She needs to get online.

For some reason, I can't think of it now so well.  Like, she thinks everyone else is inherently stupid and she is their successful savior and hurts you.  She doesn't have all the answers.  She thinks life is bound to be suffering.  Or maybe people who know her are overly bitter, like with Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.. Who doesn't *really* know about them?

Knock Knock

What if we knocked some sense into him?

He's stupid.  People who are nice to me are blessed!  :0  What's wrong with you, motherfucker?

Let me make you aware of the situation.

They just keep coming up with worse things along the lines of associating things with like my future husband and probably soon things more pushed in about my kids.  I don't think things like this have to happen.  ANSWER!

STOP!

My dad won't stop acting sorta snappish on the side to me.  He keeps rubbing in things.  He thinks he is justified to do this to me, and this is not done to others, in this way.  He's sorta stupid and does things like a regiment, like he'll fall apart if he isn't perfect and he isn't.  He gets mad at me for having an esteem and confidence.  Like, things are okay, and then he changes and keeps changing.

Also, he's shit.  He thinks suddenly he's all that and that I have to be as bad as him while everyone else's kids are open to opportunity.  He thinks he's better than attractive guys, but to others he'll still make them feel like things are okay.

I can't stand him.  I was just inquiring on him that one day.  He doesn't give a shit bout me.  Now, he's sorta shitting on about it, tagging onto that he doesn't want me to talk about feelings to him that aren't gay nor philosophical.

JUST STOP!  I don't deserve to be treated like being punished and can't reach anyone about how I'm being affected all the time, like I can't control myself.

SOMEONE STOP HIM!  He gets mad if I treat him how I do.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

It seems unfortunate that something is okay that you do in general, and then you wreck havoc in relation to others it seems.

Eureka!

What do you think of people who had bad things happen to them spot you out and say that's it, you would have done something wrong in my situation?

The prices sky-rocketed!

I was gonna get some clothes at Sears, and the prices went up-up-up!  There was this special jacket I was gonna get.

link

I was gonna get the white one.  It was $11.99.

Damned Uncomfortable

I'm tired of people tracking my mood and making me so damned uncomfortable.

How to Succeed Without Really Trying

I couldn't succeed in school because the freshman dorm was in the only ideal location!  Yes, there was this one dorm right next to it I was in, but I kept hearing strange noises.  I got called down to the police but was let go.  I was screaming.  They came in the other dorm, too, before, the first part of my 2nd year.  This was an extra hurricane semester, where I went down to the police.  Actually, I was alone that semester in a 2-room dorm.  :0  The next one was next to the music building on the road, nice, St. Charles road, across the park across the zoo where I'd go for exercise.. and I went home soon after.. but the building had the oldest elevator and was broke.. the Jesuits used to stay there.. I picked a dorm on the top corner by the road!  :0  4 stories I think.

Something Strange

I noticed since watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," I've come to juggle my egg sacks as shit after experiencing some pleasure but not strong pleasure, at all.  Just a nice misty feeling in a way.

Eating Pizza

Dominos

Also, I just cleaned my room except for the floor with the money and all the messy boxes of paper and junk.  I live in a garage with a cealed door.

I DEMAND YOU STOP

Please, stop the visions of my dad|older aunt torturing a boy I know and moving on to others.  Do it to someone else, someone who deserves it.

What else can I say?  I will have more to say.

It just isn't right, and you are aware of that.  I don't know why you're so bad and bring these feelings.

Do not curse my future kids.  I do not care about you.

Dream

The big part of my dream was sitting outside at my old school.  There was one point I was walking a distance back round to the bathroom, and I noticed the cars at first were mean but then didn't keep it up and in a way I felt strong.

I was in like a blow up bed under the covers and imagined my choir director was hugging me.  The difference between my dad's and mom's ages is just a little younger than her and my aunt, who is a little older but not much.  However, my dad is older.  Anyway, I felt totally cared for, not like weird, though I also like Ellen DeGeneres.  I'm not sure what's going on... but I thought of something else...

It's interesting that happened.  I noticed I'm wearing shorts and think my hips are wider unless it's also fat, wonder if that's why my butt feels stimulated.

I ran into the music teacher's daughter in the bathroom.

Also, my old boyfriend lay on me, and the girl with the white hair noticed.  I had this friend in the place I lived before that.  The old school was the one in the nation's oldest city, in Northeastern Florida.  I was talking to the music teacher's daughter, about like I know in the end like well to someone new, an adult, about how there were lots of stalls.  She was caring for me and my needs, seemed like an olde adult, someone I supposedly knew.

So, yes, I was feeling a lot with this person.  It reminded me a little of my old choir director but also how Ellen DeGeneres has been acting.  Also, my dad had brought reminiscence.

Other things...?  I ran into my old friend.  We were outside awhile.  I forget what else I was gonna say.

So yea, this person had longer legs and bigger arms and a big torso.  I'm not sure who it really was.  It was sorta long winded.  I liked wrapping my arms around this person from the side.  It's something I've been dreaming and maybe thinking about as a concept.

I know I was bouncing to the theater.  Also, my dad was somewhere after at like a money game machine or something like that getting money out and he was like thinking, oh my, "This isn't this."  Like, I shouldn't have been in front of said person stimulated, but that I Was cuddling her was unheard of for me.  I give my parents quick, brash hugs, but I used to not for some reason.  I don't know why I never cuddled, but I don't know why I even can.  You'd think it'd be shitty after awhile, but I guess I'm not that dilapidated, all growing up, pretty much the whole bulk after I did gymnastics, and I'm really careful yet attuned, so keen, like a dolphin's ear.  It's so like specific and like hard, though, like strong, I don't mean like Tim Burton touchy feely feeling of aura around him.  You know, like feeling little pieces of metal sand.  Sometimes.  It's not always exactly like that to light.

Dream

The most important part of my dream was at the end.  I was sitting in the audience in some cheap, nice chairs.  I was sitting next to Orla Fallon.  We saw a redhead who looked kinda like me and noticed that the brunettes had darker skin.  She crossed her leg over in front of my legs to protect me, and it felt good..  I don't remember how, but I went over and cuddld her and gave her a hug.  The seats were separated.  She put her arm around me, though it was discreet.  Actually, I was hugging her for a long time, and it felt good..  She was a lot bigger than me and pregnant, and she is.  I put my leg around her.  It wasn't anything weird.  I was just hugging her!  I don't know why her.  So, I did that for a long time.  I felt good when I woke up.  So, anyway, she had me lie in front of her, which is not something I would do in a more random, casual way, with anyone...  I had kept being happy sorta feeling for her baby but not groping.  Anyway, when I had the feeling I was lying on top of a person with a big belly ... but it didn't feel like her.  It wasn't very stimulated nor anything.

I had said I wanted to go to choir so I could give my director a hug.  I didn't need to give her a hug long.

I was watching a Peanuts play.  I knew a Christmas song a the beginning.  I was at my old school, and there was a girl there with white hair from L.A.

So, also, the person I was hugging had like a big square of number and terms and a machine around her neck keeping track of what was going on.

I was in a bathroom earlier.  I didn't realize there were many stalls to wash and don't know why there was one stall of a shower to rinse off after.